Crunchberrys- The New Tomato

So the recent scare of tomatoes infecting people with Salmonella has me thinking. We need a new palm fruit/ vegetable (Technically the tomato is a fruit but we call it a veggie.) And I was thinking what fruit has never infected people with bowell moving disease... CRUNCHBERRIES! I mean there's really no need to worry they are grown in a very controlled environment, pesticides are never used on crunchberries, they are olny harvested by certified military personel, Captains! (there even officers) It's the perfect solution. Now we just need to bio-engineer some crunchberries as big as grapefruits and then were good to go! So next time you get a burger with no tomato because it's got some nasty virus go for the smart alternative, go for crunchberries!